Yesterday I went to visit a friend of mine who lives in Celebration, FL. For those of you who live outside Florida, Celebration is a city built by Disney. It’s pretty neat, and most of the eerie-ness has worn off of its perfect “all built at the same time” veneer. As more people have moved there, they’ve managed to smooth the “Stepford-like” edges in that way that humans do. In other words, its much less like the glaring brightness of a new pair of white sneakers, and has become more like a favorite pair of jeans. We had a great visit, and I was really impressed with my friend’s amazing home-brewed kombucha along with some of the best dehydrated kale chips ever (key surprise ingredient — sun-dried tomatoes). But on the way there I passed some road signs on the highway that I don’t see very often. As a Florida resident, I don’t visit the Disney area very much at all. So when I passed the sign indicating the location of Disney’s Wide World of Sports complex it triggered some memories, one of which I haven’t shared with anyone before now. It’s nothing huge or especially dramatic, but seems relevant to share at this time of year.
In October of 2010 I attended the RKC for the first time at the Wide World of Sports, there’s some ancient blog posts on the subject on this site under the “Workshop Experiences” tab above if you care to read the gory details. I’ve left them as they are, even as the testing requirements and individuals involved have all changed now. But it’s important to remember things how they were, and how it was a very emotional and pivotal time for me. The experience had been great on many levels, and enough to help me push through a complete 180 career and lifestyle change. Not that it’s easy. Nothing good or triumphant is.
Generally speaking, I don’t make resolutions, and I set only nebulous and/or short term goals. I don’t make “dream boards” or clip pictures of people who I’d want to look like. I don’t usually like to join 21 day or 30 day challenges, and I don’t feel the need to gather socially shareable points earned for my workouts. If those things work for you, absolutely do them as I also don’t judge. Always do what works for you. And if something is working for you don’t question or doubt it, just keep on keeping on! Some people absolutely thrive by these methods, and if that’s the case, then go for it. What I do is a little different, and somewhat related. I draw a line in the sand. It’s a little bit macho and weird and breaks many of the rules of socially-supported change/goal setting. Many times it’s even spontaneous, as was the case after the October 2010 RKC.
Here’s what happened:
We’d just finished up at the workshop and had said our goodbyes, taken tons of photos, exchanged contact info etc. I was still reeling in disbelief that I’d attended the RKC for the past 3 days, learned an incredible amount of information that was precisely up to and beyond my expectations. I was also physically tested to nearly my limits and by this time was a little wobbly. A small group of us wandered out of the Wide World of Sports complex towards a bus that would take us all back to the hotel. On the way to the bus, there was a Disney representative/greeter/(not sure what exact job title this would be) who said goodbye to each of us and handed us a few pin-back buttons. She handed me a light purple one with one of the princesses on it (I am so bad at being girly, that I’d need to look up on the internet to see which one this is) and the phrase “Happily Ever After”. Which with my occasionally dark and cynical humor is a sort of trigger for “oh please.” Except this time was different, I caught myself and changed that thinking. I changed it to, “Well, why not?” Why NOT try to make it “Happily Ever After” from this point? At the time I had no idea how to make that happen, only that I would find a way. I drew a line in the sand, quietly. So quietly that I hadn’t felt the need to even share this story for a few years. About 30 seconds after that moment we found out that we’d need to RUN to catch the bus back to the hotel! I didn’t even have time to pin the button on, but slipped it into my backpack as a good luck charm and reminder of drawing that line in the sand.
So whatever your “Happily Ever After”, your goal, or lifestyle change might be… if you haven’t had success with many of the conventional goal setting motivational methods, then maybe try drawing a line in the sand. Even though there’s a big push among most circles to tell other people your goals so that you feel more “accountable” for them, I usually don’t make my goals public. I don’t even tell most people — want to know why? Because I don’t want to even give them the opportunity to tell me I can’t do it. I don’t even want to hear their doubts, or the destructive comments originating from their insecurities which might be riled up by the fact that I might just be able to make it happen. (Women are especially notorious for tearing each other down in this way) Now… if you do have cool positive, supportive friends (Like I do now!! Wheeee!) and feel comfortable telling them, absolutely do it. But be advised this is not as common as we would all hope–especially in office settings!
So here’s a little of how I draw a line in the sand. I’ll stop what I’m doing and become very aware of my location. I take a mental picture of where I am in that exact moment and will say something like this in my head:
Right here, right at this time, this ends/begins. Everything changes after this moment. I will make this happen, by the force of sheer stubbornness
(I chose “stubbornness” because that’s appropriate for me, but choose whatever is appropriate for you — just make sure it is something which is attributable TO you. You are the one who will make this happen. And yeah, it’s going to be a fight and you’re going to backslide and make mistakes from time to time, but hey – remember the line in the sand and get back to it. I still reference several lines in the sand when making decisions — by asking myself questions like, “does this support or undermine what I really want?”)
There’s a kind of cliche/joke, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” and while it’s trite in the same way as, “If you’re looking for a sign, this is it,” it can be useful.
So, if you’re looking for an excuse to start today on a change, then this is that sign, that excuse, that impetus that you’re looking for, and I wish you all the best.
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