Think before you pass the blame.  Seriously.  Are you unhappy with some particular aspect of your life?  Fitness?  Money issues?  Relationships?   Or whatever else?   Listen to the “voices in your head.”   What are they saying?   Are they passing the blame?  Are they arguing aggravating or mitigating circumstances?*   I know a lot of people who blame their problems on things outside their control.  It may make them feel better temporarily, but it never worked for me.   It just made me feel powerless to change the situation.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

Remind yourself of this frequently.

I have a few online friends who will systematically put out excuse after excuse about why they can’t do something.  The funny part is – they will have started the conversation with “please help me lose weight” or “I don’t know why I’m always broke” or “why can’t I find a nice boyfriend/girlfriend?”   As soon as I start offering a real world solution – out come the excuses.  Which I systematically slay one right after the other.  It’s a sick little game that I occasionally enjoy playing – I count it as a win if I can get the other side to admit that they’re being a lazy sad sack.  I lose if I run out of time or get a headache.   As you can see, the stakes are high.

Don’t let yourself make excuses – it’s lame and it annoys the people around you.  Sometimes it can even hurt the people around you – excuses are so terrible that sometimes they’ll sabotage other people!  It’s like pollution or second hand smoking!!!   So suck it up, and do what you need to do.  AND… those of you who run and hide your carts when you see me in the grocery store, “but but but I have kids” is no excuse for buying sugary processed crap.  If anything you should REALLY be doing the opposite.  That implies that the children, not the adults are the household decision-makers, and not only are they making bad food decisions, you’ve admitted you’re powerless to resist their demands!   OWN IT and make the change.   Besides, I wouldn’t have even LOOKED in your cart if you’d just said hello!   Funny how that works…

Besides – here’s the part where excuses are SUPER SUPER awful and dangerous:

“OH well, it’s not my fault, it’s because __________________.” Easily translates into “you had no control over the situation, and are therefore powerless to change it or future situations.”  I don’t want to hear or think crap like that.  You have more control over your situation than you realize.  Look at your habits, make changes – learn to spot excuses – then DESTROY THEM.  It’s not going to happen overnight – because whatever you’re unhappy about didn’t happen overnight either.  Own the problem, admit it to yourself, examine what you are doing on a daily basis and start chipping away at the small habits.  Examine what your friends say to you as well – some of their excuses can be just as insidious.   “Oh well you know this is what happens when you get older” is one that I love to slay each and every time.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL.

Remind yourself of this frequently.

“I can’t” isn’t acceptable.. “I can’t quite yet today” is a little better.   “I WILL, and will start right now by doing _______” is what we’re looking for.  I used to think I couldn’t press a 24kg kettlebell at my size/weight/etc.  Now I knock out one on each side at 11:30pm at random and have started looking over at that 28kg kettlebell and thinking hmmmm maybe new goal??

*Years ago I had a fleeting interest in law, some of the concepts stuck.